Author: Amy

When Your Child is in Crisis: What Parents Can Do

Depression is as much a physical illness as it is a mental illness. One of the best ways that you could help your young person work through depression is by understanding what it is – and – what it is not.  The myths about mental illnesses only contribute to the stigma, and this prevents many people from getting the help that they need.

The good news is that depression is highly treatable. Eighty percent of those who seek help find relief through therapy, medication or a combination of both. What can family and friends do to help? Here’s a brief guide:

When a Child is in Crisis

Despite our very best efforts, and for a variety of different reasons ranging for genetic makeup to a difficult life experience, some youth will become anxious and/or depressed. Deciphering a child’s moods and intervening before a crisis can be a delicate dance. The first step is facing the issues head on—together.

Talk About the Real Stuff

Sometimes conversations between parents and youth can be all about achievements, schedules and chores. Go beyond that. Find out what keeps them up at night, and ask, “What’s the best part of your day?” Become attuned to their emotional worlds so that you understand what their dreams are, what they struggle with and how their lives are going.

Give Your Young Person Space, but Pay Attention

Give youth space to grow and separate from you, but also watch for changes in behavior. Are they giving up activities they used to enjoy? Are they staying up all night or eating differently? Is your outgoing kid now withdrawn? If you’re worried, say so. Show interest in their internal lives without judgment.

Resist Getting Angry

When parents learn a young person has been hiding something or is having behavioral issues, the response is often anger or punishment. Instead, try to understand what is going on. If a kid is acting out, doing things like self-harming or skipping school, respond with compassion first. Say, “It seems like you’re having trouble, I’m here to help. Tell me what’s happening with you.”

Don’t Put Off Getting Help

If you’re worried about an adolescent, talk to a school counselor, therapist or doctor. It’s better to get help early, rather than when trouble has firmly taken hold.

Treat the Whole Family

When a kid is in crisis, many times it’s not enough to treat the child—you have to change the family dynamic. It’s possible that something about the home environment is causing the child stress, so be open to acknowledging that and getting family counseling if needed.

Finding Professional Help

Many children who are not at risk of hurting themselves still require psychiatric help or psychotherapy to overcome their anxiety or depression. Jewish Family Service’s team of experts can help you determine what kind of assistance your family needs. They can be reached at 248-592-2313. For additional mental health resources, visit our Resource page.

Source: Youth Dynamics

Understanding Depression in Young People

As every parent knows, adolescence can be a roller coaster of emotions. Sadness, irritability and mood swings are part of the journey of growing up. However, when behavior becomes a pattern that lasts longer than two weeks and grows in intensity without mixed periods of joy, you may want to ask yourself, “Is this normal youth angst or the warning signs of something more serious?”

Typical Behavior
Depression-Fueled Patterns
Inconsistent sleep patterns Sleeping and napping a lot, or alternatively feeling exhausted during the day and wide awake at night. Not getting enough quality sleep can quickly impact a young person’s mood.
Appetite changes Sudden weight gain or weight loss. Eating more or less than what’s typical for your young person. Eating more high carb foods that can mimic feel-good chemicals in the brain.
Physical aches and pains When it comes to mental health, the mind/body connection is real. Depression can show up as headaches, stomachaches or muscle soreness.
Poor attention span, motivation, energy level Young people with depression can have difficulty initiating tasks, focusing their attention or completing schoolwork.  When faced with a challenge, they may lose interest quickly or give up easily.
Irritability Reading the signals of a typical tween/teen’s attitude can take some patience and further exploration.  Ask yourself if your child is grumpy in several settings – at school, with friends? Are they having mood swings for no apparent reason?
Apathy On the other end of the spectrum, a depressed child may show little emotion and may describe their feelings as numb, blank or neutral.
Feeling down in the dumps, sadness (with or without reason) There may be a valid reason to feel sad that triggers depression — or no specific reason at all. Guilt and shame are often feelings associated with depression. Questions like, “Why so sad?” and “What do you have to feel depressed about?” are generally unhelpful and can even be hurtful.
Low esteem, thoughts of worthlessness There is more to depression than just emotions. It’s important to talk and try to understand the underlying thoughts connected to sad feelings. The first step is sit and have a conversation with your child and ask what’s going on. The next step could be to seek help, talk with teachers or bring your child to a counselor or psychiatrist.

Some of the warning signs of depression include:

  • Mood changes, like persistent sadness or irritability
  • Changes in level of functioning, such as school failure
  • Withdrawal from friends and family
  • A loss of interest in activities that had been important
  • Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
  • Nonspecific signs like lack of energy, trouble concentrating and unexplained aches and pains

What Parents Can Do

If your young person is suffering from depression, the first thing you should do is to try to understand it. Learn about depression and treatment options. Discuss questions and concerns with a health care provider to find the best treatment options for your child. For mental health resources, visit our Resources page.

Sources: Stanford Children’s Health and Child Mind Institute

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